April 2012
teacher: you will be assorted into groups
me: oh ok
and then i work with the other kid who doesn't talk much and we get to know each other and find out we have similar interests and vow to talk more and then we start texting each other and it becomes the highlight of our days and every friday we go to see that genre of movie we both love and then one day after said movie we get caught in the rain and we can't catch a taxi so we end up having to run to a bus stop but it's raining really hard so they take a newspaper from the side of the street and drape it over our heads and it's shitty and not even working but we're laughing so hard we don't even care and when we finally get to the bus stop we are panting and laughing and wet and then they turn to me and smile and i smile and they take me by the cheeks and murmur some inside joke and we laugh and then we kiss and then eighty years later we're happily married with 2.8 children and all our dreams came true but oh fuck we forgot to hand in our group Science project didn't we.
March 2012
12th graders: ew 11th graders
11th graders: ew 10th graders
10th graders: ew 9th graders
9th graders: ew middle schoolers
middle schoolers: ew elementary kids
elementary kids: ew babies
babies: ew fetus
fetus: ew wait how am i talking
Watchyoungbertreynolds:
yellowblowngreen:
Glee Characters In Five Minutes: Rachel Berry - When people look at you, they don’t see what you’re wearing, they see a cat getting its temperature taken and then they hear it screaming.
Real talk, I was ready to be done with this after about a minute. I’m glad I strove to the end. I think I’ll make a batch of cookies now, enjoy them with my loves, and...
10 tags
a text conversation brought to you by Stephen and...
me: TEXT ME SOMETHING
stephen: HELLO I'M THE DOCTOR
stephen: NOW THERE'S A SPOILER FOR YOU
stephen: OH DON'T WORRY: I'M QUITE THE SCREAMER
me: WHY DOES YOUR BOX SAY "POLICE"?
stephen: OH STOP
stephen: MAKE ME
stephen: MAYBE I WILL
me: I HATE YOU
me: NO YOU DON'T
stephen: I DON'T RECALL THAT QUOTE
me: HELLO, BENJAMIN
me: LITTLE AMELIA IN THE ELEVENTH HOUR
stephen: CODENAME THE DOCTOR THIS IS THE LEGS THE NOSE AND MRS ROBINSON
stephen: OH I HATE YOU
stephen: NO YOU DON'T
me: PROFESSOR RIVER SONG, ARCHAEOLOGIST. HELLO SWEETIE
stephen: I'M BEING EXTREMELY CLEVER UP HERE AND THERE'S NO ONE TO STAND AROUND LOOKING IMPRESSED WHAT'S THE POINT IN YOU ALL?
stephen: COULDN'T YOU JUST SLAP HIM SOMETIMES?
stephen: WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE ADMITTED TO THIS UNIVERSITY?
stephen: WELL, TO BE HONEST PROFESSOR, I'M LOOKING FOR A GOOD MAN
me: I COULD CUT MYSELF SLAPPING THOSE CHEEKBONES
me: WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TRY?
stephen: WHO ARE YOU TO ME?
me: LOOK INTO MY EYE
stephen: OH DOCTOR PLEASE TELL ME YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
stephen: WHO ARE YOU?
stephen: OH... THAT MAN
me: LOOK AT YOU. YOU'RE SO YOUNG.
me: I'M REALLY NOT, YOU KNOW.
stephen: I'VE GOT A GUN YOU'VE GOT A TIME MACHINE WHAT THE HELL LET'S KILL HITLER
me: OH, I'M GOING TO BE A PROFESSOR, AM I? HOW EXCITING!
stephen: YOUR EYES IT'S IN YOUR EYES
me: ARE YOU MARRIED, RIVER?
me: YES
me: WAIT... DID YOU THINK I WAS ASKING YOU TO MARRY ME, OR--
me: YES.
me: I'M TRAPPED INSIDE A GIANT ROBOT REPLICA OF MY WIFE. REALLY TRYING NOT TO SEE THIS AS A METAPHOR...
stephen: DR SONG YOU'VE GOT THAT FACE ON AGAIN
stephen: WHAT FACE?
stephen: THE "HE'S HOT WHEN HE'S CLEVER" FACE
stephen: THIS IS MY NORMAL FACE
stephen: YES IT IS
stephen: OH, SHUT IT
me: OH, THEY'RE FLIRTING AGAIN, DO I REALLY HAVE TO WATCH THIS?
stephen: TWO AMYS CAN THAT WORK DOCTOR?
stephen: I DON'T KNOW IT'S YOUR MARRIAGE
stephen: WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST DIE
stephen: off topic why'd you want me to text you
me: RORY WILLIAMS, THE BOY WHO DIES AND DIES AGAIN... DIE ONE LAST TIME
me: because i was bored :D
me: btw i'm putting this on tumblr as soon as i get home
stephen: YOU TOOK THEM DOWN WITH A WATER GUN? I BLOODY LOVE YOU
stephen: oh that's brilliant
me: I HAVE SEEN INTO HIS MIND! THE WEAPON IS HARMLESS!
me: YEAH, BUT... IT'S GOTTA STING
me: YOU JUST WANT "TO MATE"?!?!
stephen: A MATE AAAAA MATE
stephen: WELL YOU'RE NOT MATING WITH ME SUNSHINE YOU'RE JUST A LONG STREAK OF NOTHING
stephen: WELL GOOD
me: BLIMEY, YOU'RE SKINNY. THIS WOULDN'T FIT A RAT
me: THIS ONE'S SO SKINNY, YOU HUG HIM YOU GET A PAPER CUT
stephen: YOU'RE WEARING THE SAME SUIT DON'T YOU EVER CHANGE?
me: HEALTH AND SAFETY. YOU BE HEALTH, I'LL BE SAFETY
stephen: I WAS GONNA TRAVEL WITH YOU FOREVER. THE DOCTOR DONNA AND THE TARDIS
me: WHERE WAS I? HERE COMES THE SUN. NO--
me: BINARY BINARY BINARY BINARY BINARY
me: SORRY, GOT TO DASH. GOT THINGS HAPPENING. WELL, FOUR THINGS. WELL, FOUR THINGS... AND A LIZARD.
stephen: I'M NOT GOING TO HUG FIRST
stephen: NOR AM I
me: WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
me: FINALLY, 700 YEARS, HE ASKS FOR MY NAME. ...I THINK YOU CALL ME... "SEXY."
me: ONLY WHEN WE'RE ALONE!
me: WE ARE ALONE.
me: OH... COME ALONG THEN, SEXY.
stephen: IT'S LIKE KISSING EXCEPT THERE'S A WINNER
stephen: OH I JUST THOUGHT OF ANOTHER IDEA FOR KISSING COME HERE YOU
stephen: RORY'S DEAD... MUST BE SATURDAY
me: IT'S THE TARDIS! ...AND SHE'S A WOMAN!
me: I BET YOU WISHED REALLY HARD, DIDN'T YOU?
stephen: I NEED TO BORROW YOUR COMPUTER
stephen: NONONONO
stephen: IT WILL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE
stephen: JUST LET ME EXIT OUT OF SOMETHING...
stephen: NO NO NO GIMME GOODNESS JEFF, GET A GIRLFRIEND
me: I CAN BE BRAVE FOR YOU, AMELIA, BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME HOW
me: FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD
stephen: I AM NOT AMELIA POND I AM A VOICE INTERFACE
me: I SAID "PUNCH ME IN THE FACE." DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?
me: I ALWAYS HEAR "PUNCH ME IN THE FACE" WHEN YOU'RE TALKING, BUT USUALLY IT'S SUBTEXT
stephen: *DONNA FALLS TO HER DEATH YET HOLDS ON TO A CABLE
stephen: DOCTOR: DONNA! HOLD ON!
stephen: DONNA: I AMMMMM!!!!!
stephen: I'M WAVING AT FAT
stephen: WHY SHOULD WE LISTEN TO YOU?
stephen: BECAUSE I'M CLEVER
stephen: WE'VE BROKEN DOWN... IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
me: ....I WAS JUST ABOUT TO TEXT YOU THAT
stephen: .....I KINDA KNEW IT AND TRIED TO BEAT YOU
stephen: #SORRYIMABITCHSLASHASSHOLESLASHEVERYTHINGTHATSRUDEANDMEAN
me: IS IT A FISH? WHAT COLOR IS IT?
me: BIG COLOR. BIG, BIG COLOR.
me: #NOYOURENOTSHUTUPYOUREWONDERFUL
stephen: WHICH EP IS DAT?
me: WHERE'S THE OTHER HALF?
me: IT'S INSIDE THE SHARK
me: A CHRISTMAS CAROL
stephen: #OHSHUTIT
me: CHRISTMAS EVE, LANDED ON A ROOFTOP--MY WHOLE BRAIN JUST WENT WHAT THE HELL!
me: #MAKEME
stephen: COME ON YOU TWO GOT TO RUN I JUST GOT ENGAGED TO MARILYN MONROE WHAT IS THAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING KISSING WELL FINE COM ON MARILYN GET IN THE CAR
stephen: #YEAHMAYBEIWILL
me: I KISS RIVER NOW KISSING RIVER IS COOL
me: #IMQUITETHESCREAMER
me: I COULDN'T LET YOU LEAVE WITHOUT KNOWING YOU ARE LOVED BY SO MANY AND SO MUCH, AND BY NO ONE MORE THAN ME
stephen: SHUT IT DAD I'M FOCUSING ON A DRESS SIZE
stephen: OH THE HAIR IT JUST DOESN'T STOP DOES IT
stephen: OH THE TEETH OH THE TEETH
stephen: WATCH OUT FOR THAT BOWTIE
stephen: EXCUSE ME YOU LOT I HAVE TO WEIGH MYSELF
stephen: OH THAT IS FAN-TASTIC I'M GOING TO WEAR LOTSSS OF JUMPERS
stephen: WELL I WAS ON MY WAY TO THIS GAY GYPSY BAH MITZPAH WHEN I THOUGHT THE THIRD REICH'S A LOT OF RUBBISH LET'S KILL THE FUHRER WHO'S WITH ME
stephen: NEVER SHOOT A GIRL WHILE SHE'S REGENERATING
stephen: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES
stephen: GOODNESS IS KILLING YOU GOING TO TAKE ALL DAY
stephen: I'M A PSYCHOPATH I'M NOT RUDE
me: IS HE WORTH IT? (AKDJFAJDKLFDJA THE RIVER QUOTES IN THAT EP)
me: YOU AND ME--BUT WE... WE *SMOOCHING NOISES*
stephen: RIVER WHAT ARE YOU DOING
stephen: HELLO SWEETIE
stephen: YESSSS
me: HAD TO GET MY SPECIAL STRAW... ADDS MORE FIZZ
stephen: AND DR SONG OH YOU NAUGHTY GIRL WHAT HAVE YOU GOT ME INTO THIS TIME?
stephen: *she slaps him*
stephen: OK I PROBABLY DESERVED THAT
me: I NEED A SWAT TEAM READY TO MOBILIZE, STREET MAPS OF ALL OF FLORIDA, TWELVE JAMMY DODGERS, AND A FEZ
me: ....GET HIM THE MAPS
me: IT'S BEEN FIVE MINUTES, DOCTOR
me: YEAH, AND WHERE'S MY FEZ?
stephen: MR PRESIDENT THAT MAN WALKED IN HERE WITH A BIG BLUE BOX AND 3 OF HIS FRIENDS AND THAT'S THE MAN HE GOT PAST NOW ARE YOU GOING TO LISTEN TO HIM OR ME?
me: AND THERE'S THE GUN AGAIN. YOU LIKE GUNS? FREUD WOULD CALL THAT COMPENSATION. EVER MET FREUD? NO... COMFY SOFA
stephen: HAMEMEMSGJPHOBIA ISN'T THE FEAR OF PANTS IT'S THE FEAR OF EVERYTHING.... INCLUDING PANTS... I SUPPOSE...
me: ROFL STEPHEN IT'S "PANTOPHOBIA"
stephen: SHUT UP NO WAY IT'S CALLED THAT
me: FROM THE DAY THEY ARRIVED ON THE PLANET AND BLINKING STEPPED INTO THE SUN THERE'S MORE TO SEE THAN CAN--NO, HANG ON, SORRY, THAT'S THE LION KING
me: IT IS THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE QUOTE
me: PANTOPHOBIA... NOT THE FEAR OF PANTS, THE FEAR OF EVERYTHING. INCLUDING PANTS I SUPPOSE
stephen: COULDA SWORN THERE WAS AN H IN THERE
me: well... pHobia
stephen: STOP MAKING ME LOOK DAH FOOL
stephen: I EMBARASS MYSELF ENOUGH AS IT IS
me: IT'S OK THOUGH YOU'RE ADORABLY AWKWARD
stephen: AND AWKWARDLY ADORABLE
me: YES
me: I THINK I'VE RUN OUT OF QUOTES
stephen: I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAT
me: AS EVER, WE'RE ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH AGAIN
me: I'M LOOKING AT A POSTER WITH SOME KIND OF MATH PROBLEM INVOLVING CIRCLES AND ANGLES AND IT LOOKS LIKE GALLIFREYAN
stephen: HEHEHEHEHHEHHEEHHE
So let's just get this straight...
eruditechick:
Hunger Games has the 3rd biggest opening in movie history.
An action flick starring a girl.
Who isn’t an emaciated stick.
Who isn’t a princess.
Whose journey is motivated by her sister, not a man.
Who is not sexually used, abused, active or even objectified much.
3rd biggest opening in movie history. Spawning a franchise.
Let’s just… let’s just think about that.
Let’s just...
So let's just get this straight...
eruditechick:
Hunger Games has the 3rd biggest opening in movie history.
An action flick starring a girl.
Who isn’t an emaciated stick.
Who isn’t a princess.
Whose journey is motivated by her sister, not a man.
Who is not sexually used, abused, active or even objectified much.
3rd biggest opening in movie history. Spawning a franchise.
Let’s just… let’s just think about that.
Let’s just...
tyleroakley:
theatomicboom:
omg can we just appreciate these tributes outfits
like district 1 are vegas dancers
and district 2 thinks they’re in gladiator
and district 3 is something out of a lady gaga video
district 4, well, it could be worse
case in point, see district 5
what the fuck district 6
district 7 and their origami
i’m so sorry district 8
is the boy...
9 tags
If you think you don't have a heart or soul, then...
to listen to Songs of Captivity and Freedom on Youtube. Let’s see how long it takes until you’re crying your eyes out.
6 tags
1 tag
riversongskissogram:
child0fthetardis:
if river and the doctor don’t get a proper hug in series 7 i will throw something.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID THAT RIVER NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR GETS HUGGED. LIKE, ANY PROPER HUGS. AMY HUGGED AT THE END OF TWORS BUT THAT WAS BECAUSE OF WHAT RIVER TOLD AMY. RIVER DESERVES A HUG GODDMANIT
